1.

This will be like a diary. I'm still figuring out how to explain it. OMG, feels like Fitzgerald got a part on the fact that I'm here doing this. I'm doing my best to leave the influence of a short tale from him I read today and focus on the way I normally write. Feels like I'm failing on that attempt. Whatever, English is the way cause I've always considered it a way for self-protection, you know, being Spanish my mother language, that is also a fake believing but I like to keep it. However, this time English is the way not just to protect myself but others... I'll explain as I move forward...

I don't wanna put too much of me on this. I just wanna share pieces from stories from others or more than that, sharing how was the process itself of talking/sharing with them cause that, to me, is when the magic happens, it where the good happens in such a natural spontaneous way that gets me excited.

I'm not really sure who I am right now and by that I just mean that somehow I got lost on a fight I decided to have with the ego. I really, really don't wanna boast right now nor talk about or tell the good things about me... I just see what happens and feel thankful for that, for what is happening, for the experience.

Some basic data is still needed before continue. This is a 24 years old woman holding a degree in something related with writing but not the way she really wanted or at least a little bit separated from what her passion, deep down to the core, is and was. A journalist who has never really cared about the news... a sweet irony she likes to look over an over again as a prove itself that the true journey, following her passion, goes on a different way. It isn't necessary to walk away but a turn is needed, indeed.

I... wanna be a counselor, is what calls me from the deepest part of my soul, what I was born to do, it also related with my earliest dream of how I saw myself and what I would've liked to do in the future when grown up. I knew what my dream was, not so much the career to follow... then at some point you gotta be serious, set up your mind for a career and if that implies forgetting about your dream, then face it. You are young and naive, you won't feel nor see what you are losing but with some luck you will have the chance in the future to get it back.

I've been blessed by being able to count with a tremendous guidance from a person and then also one of his friends who also became mine... I mean my friend as well. They've guided me in this re-finding the path or just helped me to water the seed in order to start growing and eventually bloom. When you get curious about the knowledge that goes in the same direction of your passion, well it just flow in the way it has to and that is perfect. So the seed has always been in me. But saying is a talent or a gift it's definitely too pretentious or at least is what I think now as I'm going through this fight with the ego. I really don't know exactly what the seed is but is. It may be just like a baby but somehow it manages to work, at least sometimes, you can't expect to work through people's lives all the time.

I would like to review how this seed has worked and it is then when I come to share a little bit of the experiences I've had talking with some people but that will be for the next post... This is the draft of the journey, anyway cause I do not plan to make experiments with people but just allow things to happen in the most spontaneous way, I get close to them or they come to me, there's and opening in one or double way, with no further intention than just be. Is a draft cause so far I don't hold a degree on this but it calls me or I feel called and desperate to answer... I need to understand how this work cause so far my conscious for this is kind of numb. I know the seed exists and that, when working, there's something that stirs inside me with an intensity hard to explain, that would be what I believe I learned from the video conferences by Larry Crabb: the stirring passion.